What DON’T You Want?

by | F2B Podcast

Sometimes it’s hard to know what you want. But we almost always know what we don’t want. How can this distinction help your decision making?

Full Transcript:

So have you and your spouse ever went back and forth for hours on end, seemingly, about dinner?  Yes, I know.  This is the perpetual issue in marriage, is figuring out what you’re doing to do for dinner every night.  For some reason that is a tough thing.  More power to you if you guys in your family have got this figured out, but in our family sometimes we still struggle with this.

There is one distinction that I like to use sometimes that can be super helpful.  I learned this, I believe, from Ryan Levesque.  He is famous for the ASK Method®, the method of serving your customers in a sales funnel in business.  The idea here is it can be really confusing and hard to nail down what you do want.  Think about that.  If somebody asks, what do you want out of life, or even if it’s more specific, what do you want for dinner, what do you want out of life, what do you want for your business.  Suddenly the possibilities, there are so many they can be overwhelming.

You’re trying to figure out the best choice is, you don’t want to say the wrong thing.  Sometimes you’re just not sure, you don’t know what you have a taste for, if you’re talking about dinner.  However, it’s almost always way easier to articulate what you don’t want.  So I might not know of the available options of what I do want.  Let’s just use the dinner analogy.  It’s pretty easy to tell in a certain time, if I’m in the mood for Mexican or something like that.  If I don’t want Mexican, I don’t want pizza, I don’t want a hamburger. Suddenly I’m narrowing down my options.  What I do want is becoming more clear because I have articulated what I don’t want and that was easy for me.


The same thing is true in just about any decision that you’re trying to make.  If the question is what do you want in a particular situation and you’re having trouble answering that question, reframe it as what don’t you want, because you can articulate that better and a lot of times it’s going to help you make the decision making more clear.

That’s all I have for you today.  A really simple tool.  But I’ve used this, I don’t want to say every day, but certainly every week of my life, I’ve used this and I probably could stand to use it every day if I’d only thought about it more often.  Think about that.  What don’t you want?  Use that instead of what do you want and I guarantee you’re going to see some big changes happen in the way that you make decisions.

God bless, and we’ll see you in the next episode.


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